that's an acceptable place to lick
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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