The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
