Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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