I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
