If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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