genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
