I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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