So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
