i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
