i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
