mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
where are my eyebrows?
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