dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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