Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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