How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
