You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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