there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
