Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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