i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
