when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
