i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
