We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
