You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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