I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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