sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
