hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
