I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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