In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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