i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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