His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
