K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
