roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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