there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
