So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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