are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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