I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I love you.
Bad choice
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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