chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize