Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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