so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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