he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
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And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
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He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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