You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she was so not down for the gang bang
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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