I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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