Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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