even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
