If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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