Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
