Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
