Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Fuck appropriateness.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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