I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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