yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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