i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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