You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
