The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
