Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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