when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
