what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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