I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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