dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
