watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
