You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
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I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
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If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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