It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I love you.
Bad choice
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
