he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
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Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
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Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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