ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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