everyone is single if you try hard enough
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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