What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I want to have your abortion
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize