I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
