we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well I just put wine in my tea
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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