i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
