He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
